WANTS not NEEDS

I want to buy three pricey items. I have spent weeks, months and years looking over them, reading reviews, dreaming, promising Chad that I will use them, budgeting for them, re-budgeting for them, making pro and con lists.....I know that when I go through that much thought that it means that this is a want that is on its way to being justified as a need.

These items will not keep us warm (or cold as it is summer), they will not feed my birdies, they will not put shoes on their itty bitty birdie feet, they will not put gas in my car... they are simply a want that I really, really need.

Scanner - I need you to help me organize my paper monster that is threatening to take over my whole house. How lovely it would be to simply go through the mail and scan everything that needs to be "filed" and then shred the original. Scanning receipts, article, school papers.... I can scan it ALL!!!! But for a price tag of $250.00 is this really a need??

Camera - I absolutely have a camera, 2 in fact. But its old (like 6 years) and I want something new with a bit more umppphhh. I could use the money towards some better glass but I really want a video/camera combo. At $799.95 this one is a tough purchase but I really really want it and considering that I use my camera almost daily it's hard for me not to want to champion this buy. How many more times can I say want....

Diet - yeah I went there. I read about 1st Personal Diet about a year ago. I was still nursing at the time so I knew it wasn't something I could do but I always kept it bookmarked. It sounds kooky and crazy but I really want to try it. 12 weeks of a specific eating plan designed around your blood. I told you it was kooky. $249.00 investment in me?? Or waste of money?? Seems like I need to just dust off the pilates dvd's and maybe get off the couch a bit more. But is $249.00 really worth it for 20 lbs of won't freakin budgeness weight. maybe...

So back to the budget and the pro and con list. I don't see any of these purchase in the near future so I will just keep dreaming and hoping that my money tree sprouts some... money.

Random thoughts on a Tuesday

Organize Create Organize Create Organize Create
These two words are tumbling through my head all day long. I am never completely fulfilled in direction when it comes to these two things. Pricey scanners, simple sweet baskets, drawers with dividers, pom pom makers, new fabric, fun DIY tutorials, new lens, photoshop tips, piles of paper, recipes, purged clothes, new classes, cards, invites, parties to plan, soccer schedule, swim class, sewing, re-decorating, Baby Boogie Schedule, Dr Apts.

Go Move Go Move Go Move Go Move Go Move
It seems like I never stop, these two words move through me from the moment I awake to the moment I fall asleep. 45 minutes countdown, hair up, load, unload, buckle, buckle, buckle, drop off, rush, faster, slow down too fast, coffee, flip flops off heels on, hair down, and BREAK 60 mins to get it all done, back to work, the seconds till 5:30 and … go …heels off flip flops on, hair back up … Pull in, breath and walk into my life

Lists Dreams Lists Dreams Lists Dreams Lists
I don’t ever think I really sleep when I am sleeping. Ideas in the shape of dreams form in the night and pour out in the morning usually during my 45min countdown when the last thing I need to be thinking about are my mind clouds. The lists are where they find there way too. To do or not to do .. is that the question?, 3 family calendars and 1 for the mindless who shall go nameless, to do for work, to do for life, school papers, all different shades of pink and green, fill in the blanks, fill in the boxes, due dates, real due dates, making space, making time, feeling fulfilled, being fulfilled, connecting the dots between and making what is not reality into reality.

Music moves me.....

Just a few diddies that have been playing through my head:

1000 Awesome Things

So I stumbled onto this blog 1000 Awesome Things today and it really made me pretty darn happy. Not even through the first page and I already could relate to a few of the writers awesome feelings. It made me feel like no matter how different we all really think we are there are some things that can not be denied. Like how awesome it is to get a high 5 from a baby. Check it out and see the mini video about the site and book.

BTW my awesome thing today was a hot piece of BBQ Chicken Pizza when my stomach was growling for attention. Tart BBQ sauce and melted cheese over chicken with red onions... So eating good food when you didn't expect it and were really hungry!!

72 hours

After being away from two of my birdies for three days I always get nervous when I see them for the first time since our separation. Sort of that, I haven't seen you in forever how much have you changed nervous. It sort of feels like pressure, like I may explode as soon as they come into site. I mean really what can happen in 72 hours. Well, long lovely curls can be cut, wavy tousled hair can be shaved, you can literally grow 3 inches and out of your shoes. Sweet daughters come back with not so sweet attitudes. So much can change in 3 days and yet it only takes a few seconds to feel like everything is back where it should be. Well except for the long, lovely curls, those take a few years to grow back.

This weekend after James had been away from his brother and sister for 3 long days he made it clear that he did miss his siblings. After the pick up we stopped by the market to grab some dinner and James could not keep his hands off his brother, it was a shopping cart love fest. Jackson hanging off the edge with his arms wrapped around his brother and James leaning out almost ready to fall but being protected and held back by two straps. They were intertwined in this feverish grasp and would only let go when the smallness of the isle would not allow them to continue their embrace. James knew they were back home and he had missed all the sisterly and brotherly attention. He missed the nightly routine of hugs and kisses to each of them before bedtime. He missed being the cheerleader to their festival of Wii games. He missed putting on their scattered shoes that laid all over and stomping around the living room. He missed Julia in her role as little mother, he missed the extra pair of hands that would get him a snack if he asked just right. "Nack sissee, nack..peezzz"

The realization is they miss him too. Julia asked to spend extra time with James on Friday morning. I asked her why and she quietly and sadly replied, because we won't see him for such a long time. They experience what I do. They know that in 72 hours so much can change, baby's car seats can be turned around so now they can no longer see their cherub brothers face as they drive, they know curly blond locks can be trimmed down into a big boy haircut. They know that the chubby baby they left behind on Friday morning is now the taller lankier younger brother who can now reach the top of the dining room table and climb onto the couch by himself. For some 72 hours seems like a flash a blink of the eye but in our home, with our family 72 hours feels like forever and everything seems to change.