Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Woodland/Fall Forest Friends/Chocolate Party

It's another party. This time Julia has requested a Chocolate party. Only my daughter. So I started to plan it around a woodland theme and it really does fit perfectly. Some ideas to get me inspired.

Monday, October 18, 2010

So I met this guy Edward and well.....

Pumpkin Picking

This weekend we took the littlest bird James to the pumpkin patch to ....pick pumpkins. Since the other two were with their dad we had to make this trip solo. I missed those two. Like a lot, like so much that I took more pictures then I ever take so they can see them and feel like they were there too. We bought 5 pumpkins representing each person in our family. Even when Julia and Jack are gone they are still right there. I had someone tell me awhile ago how lucky I was to get that break every other weekend, to not have a house full of kids. To get that alone time. I am not lucky. In fact it is the hardest thing to deal with. It like a mini roller coaster of emotions for me. Its like someone cuts off my right arm for 48 hrs and then sews it back on when they return. However I am grateful for the Monday evening matchup when they have come back home and I pour over them like syrup. I smell them, hug and kiss them and swear that they have grown inches. It like a homecoming. I cuddle them extra long and extra hard and even James gets in on the action. He misses those guys too. Our family is again complete and everything is right with the world.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


October 2007. I remember thinking, darn it I am going to be pregnant during the summer and its so freakin hot!! (I had two older children so I knew what to expect). Now when fall rolls around, the warm weather and breezy days, the seasonal things I do remind me of that time. I still get sad. I still wonder too. I would melt through a hundred summers to have that baby back. I am sure time will help ease the memory. I actually pray it does. Dr's told me to wait. I didn't listen, was back in the hospital on Christmas morning getting blood drawn to check HCG levels. Spent all night New Years Eve calling to get the test results, positive.. negative..Celebrated Jan 2008 with the news we were expecting again. September 2008, James was born. His birth while completely amazing and fullfilling did nothing to diminish the sad feelings I have for my lost autumn baby. So many people had said it would. Why did I think his birth would fill the hole left in my heart? I reserve some time and space in October to remember the little one who it seems has been forgotten by everyone else. But not by me, not by your momma. I have 4 little birds but only 3 chirp at my feet, one chirps at the feet of the Lord.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Social skills - who needs them?

World of Jenks is a new series on MTV. I stumbled across it while channel suffering for some music to clean by. At first I blew it off as another MTV waste of time but I was drawn in by the subject matter. Andrew Jenks spends a week with a 20yr old autistic adult. I knew immediately that this was something I had to watch. I was hooked. I cried, I reflected, I felt waves of emotion similar to when we had Jackson diagnosed with ADHD. It was a struggle to watch but I really felt like I got some insight to how Jack feels on occasion. High sensitivity to stimulation, his inability to get over something that just isn't that important (ie: forgetting a book at home). Quick changing emotions and wide ranges of thoughts with focus just as wide.

Jackson and ADHD has sort of rested on my mind recently due to the weekly social skills therapy group we as a family have been attending. 8 weeks of therapy that will hopefully teach Jackson and us the skills needed to adapt better in social environments. Really this therapy is something that every child should go through and a few adults too. The classes begin with adults split from the kids and we go over our individual struggles with the skills being taught. Then we are brought together with our children to discuss what was learned. It is comforting to hear other parents who are experiencing the exact same things you are and disturbing to hear stories that you can't relate too. I wonder if there are some symptoms that haven't manifested yet. It does feel like we ride these waves of change with him so often. First it was the OCD, then the ticks and now the verbal skills diminishing. Waves of change.

So we work on skills and we work on encouraging the good behavior and re-directing the bad. We work on cool down techniques and boundaries. Ways to speak to get our thoughts across in a proper manor. See what I mean. I am sure you know a few adults who could be helped with some social skills therapy. Every week we work, whose kidding every hour we work. I am thankful that Jackson is healthy and that his ADHD hasn't kept him from having a basically "normal" life. But I do think about how it would be if he didn't have to take meds and didn't have the 6:00pm crash ever night. How his body would be if it had the ability to just rest. His little muscles know nothing but movement. His brain knows nothing but rapid fire messages. How tired he must be. I just wish he could rest.